Thursday, 13 March 2014

I Need Alone Time

Have you ever seen videos of the Philippines?

While it is true that there is some extremely beautiful nature scenes and wide open spaces that you can occasionally find on videos and movies, for the most part what you see are thousands and thousands and thousands of little brown people teeming together in large crowds. There are millions of Filipinos and they cluster together.

That may seem racist but it is not meant to be. It has been my observation that Asians prefer to be in the company of others as much as North Americans prefer time alone and wide open spaces. Not a week goes by here in this community that Filipino parties aren't going on all over the city as they group together for food and socializing.

Tess hates being alone more than anyone I know. She has to have people around her. When in the past we lived together full time that meant I had to be in the same room with her. All the time. It drove me crazy. I am not a television person, Tess is. If she was watching television she expected me to be watching so there was someone with her. It didn't matter that I was on the computer just one room away, I wasn't with her. Even now if I go to bed too early (to read) she isn't happy even if her mother is in the same room with her. For Filipinios more people are better.

When my ex and I seperated I suddenly had a lot of time alone and I will admit I didn't much care for it but as I learned to feather my own nest and grew to know and accept myself I came to prefer a lot of solitude. A LOT of solitude.

At work I would chomp at the bit for 4:30 to come (or 5:00 or 5:30, whenever I thought I could get out the door). I'd sprint for the car and be off. I'd stop at the store for whatever provisions I needed, necessary things like cigarettes and beer and, from time to time, food. I'd go home and check on the dog and change out of my dress clothes. I'd make arrangements for dinner, cook or eat out. If I ate out it would be in a quiet restaurant where I would eat and read a book and then quickly back home. Once home the old dog and I would go for a walk in good weather or wrestle and rough house inside in bad. Then it was quiet time.

I kept the phone ringer turned off and all calls went to an answering machine that beeped quietly at the end of a call. Family knew how to bypass it to rouse me if needed. I would check the calls at the end of the evening and ninety nione times out of a hundred, ignore them.

In summer I could head to the porch with a book, in winter to the couch where the only sound would be the snap of the wood stove and the dogs breathing. It was quiet.

Only very rarely did someone visit. The next door neighbor and his wife would wave, but not call out, if they were out walking. It was quiet.

Often I would take a a weeks vacation and never leave home. Just right!

Tess and I are very different.

Since Tess' mother has been here I have spent four nights a week with Tess and three nights at my parents where I cook nights a week. That means I am here Thursday nights. The start of my "weekend" so to speak. I know that sounds like a strange relationship to many but trust me, Tess is high maintenance and I need a break. And this started because it was the day her shift at work changed a bit although right now all her shifts are the same.

On the other hand some nights I am at Tess five or six nights a week and sometimes two or three weeks in a row depending on what is going on. Those exhaust me. As I have written before, Tess is an insomniac and nights we are together I get as much sleep as she does and that is not enough.

All this comes to a screaming halt next week when Tess; mother goes back to the coast. Tess hasn't spent a night alone in that house in over a year now. My nights of getting alone time will be few and far between for a while.

So tonight and tomorrow and the next night and Thursday next week I will be luxuriating in the last of my alone time. It will be some time before I get any again. I am going to tell Tess I want to start watching TV again and hook the one downstairs back up. At least I can escape to the basement for an hour at a time.
I wonder if the relationship can stand this.

Another Blogster Failure

Another night, another missed deadline. The missing posts were not restored again and this time not even an announcement that they were not restored or what is happening.

I'm not a betting man but I would bet none of us will ever see that year's worth of missing posts again. It seems to me this is just a money mine for the owners to make as much from as they can while putting as little as they can into it and it must be quite lucrative.

I do not know how many of you access Blogster with an iPad but if you did you would have noticed that everywhere is now clickable on the Blogster main page (or touchable as is the case with tablets) and touching anywhere except precisely on the target brings up an add. Tablets being the way they are I sometimes see 5 ads before I can navigate where I want to go on the iPad. It sucks. And each one of those clicks is revenue for someone.

And let's be clear, here. With databases filling up, hard drives filing up, not restoring those posts becomes a lot cheaper than fixing things, right?

Why are so many of these sites other than Blogger and Wordpress fly by night?
Seriously, folks, we all need another home to go to if things go south here, Be looking and back up any posts you want to keep.

Some of us need to exchange email addresses again too.