(Originally posted to Multiply June 2, 2009)
I have absolute proof of evolution and if you think that Ida, the 47 million year old lemur fossil, was a viral Internet sensation you haven't seen anything yet.
I get a little bit tired of fake news and Internet sensations. Frankly, Ida was all hype. Firstly, this fossil was discovered in 2004. Two days after this was suddenly all over the news I found a 'brand new' hardcover book about her in my local bookstore. Folks, hardcover books are not released over night. This had been in the making and was released to time with the sudden flurry of information about this fossil that suddenly hit the news and Internet.
Secondly, tout it all they want, Ida is not a missing link. There is absolutely no evidence linking this 47 million year old fossil to humans. None.
Now lest you think I am just making that up you need to review all the news articles since then. Most palaeontologists do not believe this is is in the humanoid line at all. It is a remarkably well preserved fossil but no more. Scientists will argue about this among themselves for decades and eventually Ida, as a missing link, will be consigned to the ash bin of history just as every other 'missing link' before her has been discredited. Count on it. And, if you do not know that every other so called missing link has indeed been discredited you are living in the dark ages of paleontology. There are no missing links. They have all been re-classified as hoaxes or other species. Go figure.
In fact, two days before the hype about Ida hit, there were stories circulating about another find of a missing link in Asia. I guess a German missing link trumped an Asian missing link. Racists!
I, on the other hand, have discovered undeniable and absolute proof right in my back yard and I now reveal it to the world for the first time. This is not only proof of evolution but proof of evolution happening in real time.
Furthermore, my proof is not a 47 million year old fossil but a living specimen, a living missing link in human kinds linage. I call him 'Woody.' Furthermore, Woody isn't the sole specimen. He has another member in his family tree, so to speak, who is also making the leap to humanhood. His name is Walrus.
So, without further ado, let me introduce you to the absolute proof of evolution.
Woody and sister Margaret
Dad, "Wally," and Mom
So, there you have it, folks. The hell with Ida and her bones.